Life in Japan

Japan is a land of history and mystery. It has a very strong cultural heritage with distinct traditions and practices. Here are some suggestions on dealing with common situations you will experience while living in Japan.

Manners
Japan is a very polite society and knowing proper manners is important in interacting with Japanese people. People are generally very courteous and helpful. Proper manners can help maintain good relationships with Japanese people and avoid embarrassing situations. The following are some typical Japanese mannerisms.

Speaking and greeting
Greeting is mostly done by bowing. The more formal the situation, the deeper the bow and the longer the bow is held. Shaking of hands is rarely ever used as a greeting except occasionally in business situations. Close friends may just wave or nod to each other.
 
Speaking is pretty straightforward, but there are a few things of which to be aware: First, talking with your hands on your hips, in your pockets, or your arms folded in front of you can come across as rude. As you are talking, Japanese usually say little words like “Hai”, or “Un”. While these words roughly translate to “yes”, this does not necessarily mean they agree with your opinion or what you’re saying. It just means they are paying attention and following the conversation. If asked a (deep) question, Japanese may look around and remain silent for a while. This usually just means they are processing the conversation and thinking a lot, not that they are bored or trying to avoid the question.

Finally, Japanese are not a very direct people. They rarely answer “No” directly to a question. For example, if you invite your Japanese friend somewhere or ask their opinion on something, you may hear such responses as “Muzukashii” (“It would be difficult…”), “Chotto…” (“Well…”), or “Tabun” (“Maybe”). These are almost always indirect refusals.

Relationships
As opposed to Western culture, there is little physical touch involved between people. Whereas you might hug your family or friends in Western culture, this is not done in Japanese culture. Young Japanese women don’t even greet their friends this way (although they might jump up and down and maybe grab hands).

Even married couples do not usually kiss, hug, or even hold hands when outside of the home. Men of Western culture who may hug close female friends in their own country must also be careful not to hug or touch female Japanese friends. This, or even excessive attention will most likely convey the sense of romantic interest on the man’s part. Even if it’s not true, it’s best avoided.

At A Home
You probably won’t have many chances to go to a Japanese home, but if you do there are a few things to be expected. First of all, when Japanese enter a guest’s home, they say “O-jama shimasu” (“Sorry to bother you”). They usually also take some type of dessert and/or drink as a complimentary gift for being invited.

Japanese don’t wear outside shoes in the house, so they take them off in the entry-way. Make sure to have nice, clean socks on for when your shoes come off. They may have house slippers to wear inside. The bathroom may have its own pair of slippers for when you go in there. You will most likely sit on floor cushions (za-buton) because the host probably won’t have a table or couch to gather around. Make sure not to put your feet up on tables or desks, and never use them for pointing.

Be sure to thank your hosts for their hospitality (you can say “O-sewa ni narimashita”) and don’t overstay your welcome.

Bathing
Bathing in Japan is a very popular way to relax. Whether in the home, (resort) hotel, or public bath houses (Sento), there are rules and etiquette to be followed. As opposed to Western culture, the bathroom is just that: the bath room. The toilet and wash/sink are always separate. In public, they bathe together (although men [男] and women [女] are separate). Be sure to wash yourself thoroughly before getting into the bath and not in it. You do this “sitting” style at the faucets off to the side. The bathtubs are strictly for soaking.

In Public
There are many unspoken rules when out in public in Japan. Here are some suggestions of which to be aware of in certain scenarios.

Eating & Drinking
In general, Japanese people don’t eat or drink in public (contrary to how logical it would be for such a fast-paced society). People definitely do not eat or drink on public transportation. It’s also uncommon, but not so impolite, to eat/drink while walking or riding a bike. If you do, just be sure to do it somewhat discreetly. Chewing gum can also be seen as rude, especially if you chomp it. Lastly, public drunkenness is more widely accepted than in the West, so don’t be surprised to see drunken businessmen stumbling down the street or onto the train after a long day of work.

Japanese eat mostly with chopsticks, so raising a bowl close to your mouth to eat is OK to do. “Shoveling” food into your mouth is also all right. Make sure not to stick your chopsticks vertically into any food (especially rice) to rest them. This is considered bad luck ￢ even if you don’t believe the superstition, it will still make you look rude and inconsiderate. The Japanese also eat a lot of noodles and soups, but it is common and not rude to slurp either of them. It is not polite, however, to belch after meals is.

Hygiene
Personal hygiene in Japan should be kept personal! Many people have handkerchiefs, but they are not used to blow your nose. They are used for wiping sweat or wiping your hands after washing them. Always use tissue to blow your nose. Japanese don’t usually blow their nose in front of others. If you need to do so, turn away and do it as discreetly as possible. Some people will even leave the room. Also, as much as possible, do not put a used tissue in your pocket or bag; doing so is considered dirty. Throw it away as soon as you are able (although there are not many public trash cans). There is no Japanese response to a sneeze, so just learn to let them go.

If you ever need to use a toothpick after a meal, be sure to do this discreetly as well. Cover the toothpick and your mouth as much as possible.

Be warned that paper products are not very plentiful in Japan. Some (few) public restrooms may not have toilet paper, so be sure to take some tissues with you just in case. Also, bathrooms do not have paper towels to dry your hands. They will either have an air dryer, or nothing at all, so have a rag or handkerchief ready. Restaurants do not usually nave napkins either, but using chopsticks reduces the need for them. It’s still a good idea to bring some tissues with you to a restaurant to use in place of napkins.

Transportation
Be warned that paper products are not very plentiful in Japan. Some (few) public restrooms may not have toilet paper, so be sure to take some tissues with you just in case. Also, bathrooms do not have paper towels to dry your hands. They will either have an air dryer, or nothing at all, so have a rag or handkerchief ready. Restaurants do not usually nave napkins either, but using chopsticks reduces the need for them. It’s still a good idea to bring some tissues with you to a restaurant to use in place of napkins.

Taxis are also common, but are really high class compared to Western taxis. Most of them have cloth-covered seats and are kept very clean. The main thing to remember about taxis is that most of them have automatic doors, so if you hail one, don’t open the door yourself; the driver will do it for you. Likewise, when exiting at your destination, it will again be opened for you.

 Punctuality
Japan is a very punctual society. It has some of the (if not the) best public transportation systems in the world. The buses and trains are on down-to-the-minute schedules. The people are also very punctual. If you plan on meeting someone, it’s a good idea to show up a few minutes early. Especially if you are going to some type of meeting, or getting together with associates, make sure to be 5-10 minutes early. Making people wait is seen as inconsiderate. Even clerks at stores will apologize for “making you wait in line” when you check out. Timetables are pretty by-the-book, so make sure you are ahead of time to present yourself as eager and polite.

Dress
Most Japanese people dress fairly conservatively. Men usually wear business attire, and young guys wear modest casual clothes. Women typically wear blouses and semi-formal slacks, and young women wear trendy blouses and/or t-shirts, and jeans or full-skirts. Japanese people rarely wear shorts, even in the hot, humid summers; it’s not taboo, it’s just not usual. Even when playing sports, they more often than not take sport clothes to change into. Foreigners are more able to get away with wearing shorts in public. As long as the clothing is not too extreme, it’s probably suitable to wear out in public.

Safety
Japan is a very safe country in which to live. There is very little crime and it is illegal for anyone other than law enforcement to have guns. Even in the biggest cities, there is very little crime. There are police boxes, or koban (交番) on “every” corner to assist you if you need help. It is very safe to even walk downtown or ride subways late at night with no worry. The people are very kind and polite, and quick to help, so even the most intimidating looking person is probably very kind.

Of course, it is always better to be safe than sorry. Women shouldn’t walk alone at night, and should always secure their purse whether walking or riding a bicycle. An easy, rising crime is for a scooter-riding thief to snatch a purse and ride off. If you use the basket at the front of the bicycle be sure to secure them as to avoid theft.

Honor to one’s family (name) is a very big deal to Japanese people, so getting in trouble with the law is dishonoring to the family. Most Japanese, therefore, will not want to start trouble. Even if they get angered, they will not easily show it.